午夜剧场

It was six months after entering the Doctoral Programs that I had an experience like light shining in front of me and opening up—the kind of experience that usually only happens in the world of fiction. Having become captivated by the fascination of research after joining a laboratory, I continued on to the Doctoral Programs. However, I could not envision a path for myself in research. I had unconsciously assumed that a life dedicated 24 hours a day to research was something that women, in particular, could not sustain for a lifetime. Part of the reason may have been that there were very few female faculty members in my department at the university I graduated from, making it impossible to form a vision for the future of a female scientific researcher. Even though I was doing what I loved, my days felt dark and the future invisible.

However, my world changed completely when the university launched a project to support female researchers. At the kick-off symposium, I met female professors from other departments and female scientists active in society. Seeing them shine as they spoke about the joy of research and balanced work and family life through ingenuity, I realized for the first time—something perhaps obvious and even outdated at the time—that "Oh, it is okay for a woman to live as a researcher." Regardless of whether I actually could survive as a researcher, my heart leaped at how much lighter and brighter I felt just knowing that it was an option I was allowed to consider. I can still never forget how even the familiar scenery on my way back to the lab seemed to be glowing.

Nearly 15 years have passed since then. Fortunately, I have been able to continue my education and research as a faculty member of this Juku. However, when the journal Lancet published a special issue in 2019 on the theme of "Advancing women in science, medicine, and global health," it was noted that gender equality in researcher employment is still far from being achieved worldwide. When I talk to undergraduate and graduate students assigned to the laboratory, I hear nothing but words like "absolutely impossible" or "it looks so hard" regarding working in academia, perhaps because they see faculty members who are worn out both physically and mentally. In those moments, I reflect. If I stop sighing all the time and act more like the women I met back then, perhaps academia would become an attractive option for students as well. I want the next generation to feel that same sense of exhilaration. Noticing myself about to sigh again, I quickly straighten my back.