午夜剧场

Looking back, I have always lived with a sense of being torn. When it came time to choose a university path, I wavered between the Faculty of Law and the Faculty of Letters, eventually choosing the Faculty of Economics. I thought that even with my fickle nature, I could find a point of contact somewhere within its broad academic scope, ranging from theory to thought. When seeking employment, I agonized between journalism and academia, eventually landing at NHK. This was out of the hope that I could find a way to continue academic inquiry alongside visual expression. I found myself drawn to the gaps between various fields, the spaces between different modes of thought and cultural climates. I have always felt a sense of not quite fitting within the frameworks and genres already established in society.

In fact, that habit does not seem to have changed since I started working. "Eigo de Shabera Night," "Bakusho Mondai no Nippon no Kyoyo," "Nippon no Dilemma," "Capitalism of Desire," "World Subculture History," "Nekommentary"... before I knew it, while flying the banner of "liberal arts," I was constantly coming up with projects that somehow strayed from the "orthodox," managing to give them shape until the present day.

One could say that this book is a trace of the thoughts of a person who cannot settle down anywhere. Reflections starting from my own discomfort repeat a cycle of flux and introspection, eventually leading me to face my own origins. For example, an episode involving a unique collection of dialogues by a certain philosopher—which was the catalyst for my joining NHK—appears in Chapter 1, and in the final chapter, I rediscover the possibilities of that philosopher's thought as if drawing an arc. It has taken on the character of a personal history of the movement of ideas and thoughts.

However, this is not a book intended for mere sentimental indulgence. It scoops up what lies dormant at the bottom of an individual's heart, expands it into universal issues, discovers identical structures within disparate genres, and savors the process of contemplation. This serves as a way to resist an era that demands quick "correct answers" and to cultivate spiritual immunity. Whether I have been able to demonstrate the same "toughness" as Haruki Murakami or the "Third Generation of Postwar Writers" cited in this context is something I must leave to the reader's judgment, but I pride myself on the fact that the book is peppered with hints for thought worth sharing with those living in these same times.

Discovery lies in the gap between the gaze of the individual and the other. Open thought and introspection lead to resolve and hope.

Shunichi Maruyama

Kodansha

240 pages, 1,870 yen (tax included)

*Affiliations and titles are as of the time of publication.